veiled exuberance

none shall pass.

and so i found myself down at the harbor the next afternoon with a small sack of my belongings at my feet, and a smaller sack of comestibles to sustain me as i made my case to the captain of the Capon, who was tall, thin, swarthy, and disapproving.

"Sir, i need to make this voyage.  next month is the Choosing, as i'm sure you know, and i've *made* my choice."

"that is no concern of mine, lass.  and i hope you'll take no offense, my dear, when i tell you that your particular cargo is of little value to me."

i tried, as he had suggested, not to be offended.  and failed.  miserably.  my ire was raised.  "how dare you," i snarled, ' i could be the next ambassador to the Archipelago.  i could *own* you.  i could crush your life out like an insect."  my eyes burned into his as i fumed.

and it was then that he smiled and touched his hat briefly in a sign of respect.  mocking respect, perhaps, but something i'd said had finally broken through his cold, hard exterior.

he tossed me a token, which i caught in my right hand.  passage, i noted with some satisfaction, as the gold shone dully through the grime.  when i looked back at him, he was already in motion, retreating down the quay toward his ship.  i started after him, but he held me off with an elegant hand and a white, starched sleeve.   "nay.  we sail at the tide.  tomorrow morning.  come back then."

i started to thank him and he stopped me again.  "this is no favor, lass.  you'll prove yourself worthy of my generosity or i'll cut you loose."  he leaned in close and breathed his next words directly into my ear, "and, i'd do it sooner rather than later, lest you find yourself in over your head."  he pulled back slightly and laughed, "it's a long swim back to shore from the Archipelago."  and off he went, the bloody bastard.  i, however, had my passage.

posted by: juuitsu at November 26, 2007 23:50 | link | comments (6) |

there's this facility i have with some people of talking or being that's as easy as breathing.  i don' t feel like i have to filter what i'm saying or doing, or think too carefully/cautiously about what or how much i'm revealing.  it seems like there must have been moments that i'm not remembering where there was some element of 'wait and see' before there was 'trust.'  but, as i say, i don't remember.  so our conversations feel like they've been taking place for years, because years are what it takes to feel this comfortable, right?  and sometimes the words, the voices, the minds behind them are so similar to others that the similarity breeds familiarity breeds ease. 

so i just say whatever it is that i want to say and it comes out how it comes out - awkwardly, brilliantly, good, bad, poorly, well.  there's always space to explain it further and no fear.  and that amazes me sometimes, because there's got to be something inside of me, something scary or ugly or unfathomable that's going trip me up some day.  and i have no idea what it might be.  but there's no judgment, there's just this discussion, this interest, this willingness, this friendship. 

posted by: juuitsu at November 26, 2007 23:12 | link | comments (1) |

ack.  stupid! 

i was just bemoaning (to myself) the fact that i have nothing sweet to eat - except chocolate chips (which would really be more tasty ensconced in cookie dough).  after resigning myself to munching on some of those (sans the cookie dough, because that's really more work than i can imagine myself doing at the moment) and realizing they weren't really fulfilling my dessert notions, i passed by my desk and noticed that i still have a candy bar from Anderson's.  i say GODDAMN.  it's sitting right there.  how could i miss it?  stupid!  of course now it's too late to enjoy it as i've had chocolate chips on top of my pizza and headache and i feel positively ill.  i think the only thing that's left to me is to go to bed.  that should cure everything that's ailing me.

posted by: juuitsu at November 26, 2007 22:23 | link | comments |

i feel really worn out. 

my car has been making squeaky my-brakes-are-not-happy noises for a couple weeks now, so i decided that i should probably do something about that today and i took it in.  while they were looking at it the car people said i should also change some filter (because it was filthy), and do something with the fuel injection (don't ask me what, i only drive the car), and flush and replace the power steering fluid.  and i got an oil change.  and they replaced the front brakes, and *serviced* the back brakes.  it was a bit costly, but the ear-splitting squeak is now gone and the car smells vaguely chemical - so you know something's been done to it.  (and that somehow adds to my confidence that it is now handling better.)

i got up early so i could get the car to the car fixers early - to give them lots of time to work on it.  they weren't finished until 3 (or, rather, 2:30, but there was some confusion about the paperwork and the lady in the billing dept. kept telling me to sit down because she couldn't find my invoice.  argh.  so at 3ish she came out of her office and said she had it.  finally).  and i said i'd be at work by 4.  i thought i'd have time to swing by monkeybaby's and water her plants on my way into work, but that didn't happen at all.  i barely barely barely made it by 4.  so after a really intense 4 hours where i got grilled by the goddess and treated like a blockbuster employee (do you have THIS movie?  no?  ok, how about THAT one?  repeat ad infinitum), i drove back to monkeybaby's and then, at last at last, HOME.  i have a headache.  powder is eating the carpet.  yay.  and all i've had to eat today is pizza and more pizza.  i'm sick of pizza.  can you imagine?

people at work are harrassing me about all sorts of things.  it's like i'm no longer allowed to have my own agenda of things that i need to get done.  everyone else's stuff is SO VERY IMPORTANT and it has to be done FIRST and FOREMOST.  and as soon as i finish their stuff, there's more of their stuff to work on.  and they keep asking me if i've read this mitch albom book - One More Day.  secretly, i have no desire to read this book.  they want my opinion, though, whether i think teens will enjoy it.  *sigh*  i think me and the teens should just take off and go somewhere where we can read and discuss whateverthefuckwewant.  it's really good.  oh, wait.  that's my book club.

posted by: juuitsu at November 26, 2007 22:07 | link | comments (2) |

magnetic words: yes, yes, an old roll 'round this happy place with your magnetic kiss shining through tickle time!

posted by: juuitsu at November 25, 2007 21:51 | link | comments |

i was sitting at the Desk a couple days ago musing on things and stuff when i noticed one of our *favorite* people walking in the door - someone who makes us all cringe because we know any interaction is going to be lengthy and fraught with misunderstanding and confusion.  *sigh*  she went right over to a computer and sat down and i checked my watch religiously for the next 30 minutes - counting down the minutes until i was off-desk.  'will i make it out of here before she comes up to ask me something?  or will she do like she normally does and snag me just as i'm logging off?'  as i was thinking these things, someone else came up to talk to LP and began thus: "i think you helped me before...i have a list.  bear with me, i can't read my writing."  20 minutes later...she was still stumbling through titles and authors that were almost, but not quite, right and LP was valiantly plugging them into the computer and hunting down the *real* ones.  you go, LP.  why they don't include natural language searching in our ILS i DO NOT KNOW.  i told webguy to parse us something.  he laughed, but there was serious sarcasm behind it.

anyway.

my thought was, what if these people that make us cringe are really looking forward to these encounters that we have?  like, they wake up and think, 'hey, i'm going to go to the library and talk to the librarian, because she's always really helpful and she listens to what i'm saying and we're going to figure stuff out!'  and not, say, 'i think i'm going to go to the library and *fuck* with those reference bitches.  See.If.I.Don't!'  what if LP or i or we are someone's favorite person to talk to and we absolutely can't stand them?  because that's really sad.  and then i wondered, 'what if i am that person for someone else?'  then i tried to think if there are places that i go where i act as if i own the joint, ask a lot of loud irritating questions, talk until other people can't see straight, make a huge mess, and then wave jauntily as i flounce out the door.  no.  so hopefully no one is dreading my arrival and approach.  although, i get the feeling that sometimes those customer service people i get on the phone when i have an Issue don't really want to talk with me. 

the last time i had a relationship like that was at my rabbits' veterinarian's office.  their vet was this super awesome woman who'd make up things that they were thinking/saying (just like i do) and she was always really happy to see us and really *knew* what my rabbits' bunnalities were like - even though she only spent about half an hour with them each time we were in.  she was like me with a veterinary degree.  hm.  she'd say stuff like, "i knew you were here even before i checked my schedule - i could smell your patchouli lotion - and i knew it was going to be a good day."  isn't that the nicest?  i miss seeing her.  the bunnies do not.  she was all up in their mouths - they *hated* that.

posted by: juuitsu at November 24, 2007 00:30 | link | comments (2) |

it is the first snow of winter and i am making ice cream and doing my laundry (which has to be carried down several flights of stairs *outside* ) in a t-shirt, flip-flops, and shorts.  winter?  nah, there's no stinkin' winter.  i'm really really pleased with the ice cream so far.  i made an aztec chocolate (it's got the chili powder in it to give it some kick) and will be freezing up a cinnamon ice cream next - as soon as my ice cream machine is all chilled again. 

i should really read recipes all the way through before embarking on them.  this was also my problem in chemistry - i was just so ready to get started.  and when you just jump into things, you get surprises along the way, like: i need 5 egg yolks (oh damn, i'd better separate the eggs), and this step calls for an ICE BATH (um, yeah, except i'm also supposed to keep stirring the whole time i've got this on the heat...how many hands do i have and can i contort my body to reach the freezer AND the stove at the same time.  yes?  maybe?).  good news, though - nothing burned.  yay!  i still have cookies to bake tomorrow, but i plan on paying strict attention to those (no Dungeon Runners!).  i'm sure we don't need this much dessert at thanksgiving, but it sure is tasty stuff.

i am thankful for:

* snoozy, peaceful bunnies
* heat.
* tacklesquishes
* time that belongs to me
* adventures
* good books
* wool socks
* naps
* stretches
* ginkgo leaves
* maple trees in autumn
* goslings
* nostrils
* dog tails (attached, of course, to dogs, and expressing dog thoughts)
* ginger
* real mail
* excuses to drawr stuff
* back rubs
* strength
* silliness
* bagels
* ladies at the gym who set up my equipment for me
* spssel ppl
* toes
* mobility
* dreams
* companionable reading
* the gloaming
* jade plants
* not yet broken frisbees
* yo mama.  MY mama.

posted by: juuitsu at November 21, 2007 22:57 | link | comments (3) |

so, oberon is hosting a "free rice" challenge december 1-7.  you can see his post about it here.

basically, freerice.com is a philanthropic site that's trying to do something about world hunger - while increasing your vocabulary.  ooh, multi-pronged do-gooding! [ "she *knows* it's a multiprong..."]  so, every time you know (or guess) the correct definition of a word, you donate ten grains of rice to the cause.  and when you don't know (or guess wrong), you still get to find out what the heck a word means.  so *you're* still growing as a person.  ;)  it's like a game.  it is fun.  try it. 

the challenge is to *donate* 1000 grains of rice every day during that first week of december (you can, of course donate more).  i put a little banner on my left sidebar to remind me to do it - it links directly to freerice.com.  you're welcome to click on it and play, too.  or, alternatively, leave a comment on oberon's journal and let him know that you're doing it.  :) 

posted by: juuitsu at November 19, 2007 08:51 | link | comments (2) |

i descended stone steps from the tower, preoccupied with a jumble of papers and notebooks and reference texts precariously balanced in my arms.  my long, full sleeves were also caught up in the pile, as were strands of my hair.  my glasses were askew and there was a large smudge of ink across my right cheek.  i had been working for days, up until this point, readying myself for the testing, and at last  i felt adequately prepared (although the state of my person seemed to indicate otherwise). 

so absorbed in my books was i, that i failed to notice rosie until i ran into her.  she clutched at the wall behind her to keep from falling and helped me gather my things, which had scattered upon impact.  i straightened my glasses.  "i was just on my way to see you."

she raised an eyebrow, "oh?  well, you're late.  about two hours late."

i pulled my watch out of a pouch at my side and glanced down.  i *was* late.  "damn.  i'm sorry.  i just got caught up in my studies..."

"actually," she said, "that's what i wanted to talk to you about."

i glanced up at her from the paper that had just caught my attention.

"there's been a change."

"what *sort* of change?"

"well," she scratched her head, and stepped away from the wall - beginning to pace, "they've added a couple requirements."

i waited.

she looked up at me nervously, gaging my response, then blurted, "you're to be able to pilot a schooner.  and, AND, you'll need to speak Garanchian.  fluently."

i clenched my fits, my teeth.  "they can't just *do* that.  change the requirements right before the test!  it's only a month away!  everyone who plans on taking it has been preparing this last year!"

rosie looked away sadly, "they can, and they have.  i'm sorry." 

she left me alone then, with a hesitant pat on the shoulder, to which i did not respond.  my mind was already turning to the problem of learning Garanchian in the next month...aboard HMS Capon.  it *was* possible.  more intriguing, however, was the reasoning behind the changes.  what had prompted them?  obviously something important, for they had disrupted a well-established routine.  the tests hadn't been changed in...as long as i could remember.  i would have to ask gareth.

posted by: juuitsu at November 19, 2007 08:19 | link | comments (1) |

yay, weekend!

it's so nice not to have to work saturday.  i wish i could not work saturdays all the time.  i had time to go to my weights class - our usual instructor was away, but her replacement this time was decent (followed mostly the same routine with some additional challenges - none of which were weird knee-wrenching type things).  i stuck around to do some other stuff for another hour and a half and stretched for about 20 minutes.  it felt really good.  it just never feels that good at 5 a.m., which is when i would have to wake up if i wanted to do that in the morning before work.  argh.  and it's been really difficult to make myself go after work, since i just want to come home and have dinner and be done.  i wonder if i can use any of that obesity research to get the board to adopt a series of mandatory exercise breaks at work...  they should also build a bike path between home and work, so i can cyclommute.  and we need showers.  and a massage therapist.  and we probably could use a yoga instructor on staff as well.  dammit.  i knew they should have followed up on my idea to partner with lifetime fitness.  who *doesn't* need something to read/listen to while they're working out?  there are just so many things that are right about that arrangement.  and we need a coffee shop sort of place where one can also get not coffee (juice, tea, milkshakes, smoothies, light sandwiches, pastries, bagels, salads).  i'd settle for a panera if no one wants to set up something homegrown and local.  all of these burning ideas...

i hiked from ringwood to richmond (and back) today.  i have no idea how far it was.  it was hip-hurting far.  unless my hip hurt from activities engaged in prior to hiking.  i wanted to go to moraine hills state park.  it was, unfortunately, closed for HUNTING.  i thought about that as i was driving over there: "i wonder when hunting season starts?"  apparently now is good.  since i wasn't too far from the gravelly part of the bike trail that i like, i drove over there and just started walking.  walk walk walkety walk walk walk.  there was A Guy on the trail and that was it.  the only other person i encountered in about 3 hours of hiking.  except for when i got off the trail.  i stopped in richmond because they have this awesome candy shop - Anderson's - and the most delicious chocolate.  my favorites are their milk chocolate peppermint bars.  yum.  i was afraid they'd be closed, since it was Sunday, but (BUT!) they were open!  i walked in and ordered my peppermint bars and the girls who were working there nearly collapsed with laughter.  one of them (when she could breathe again) explained that her speech teacher told them about this experiment he did, where he taped his thumbs to his hands so that he couldn't use them and tried to simulate life without opposable thumbs.  so, each of the girls had taped her right thumb to her right hand and they were trying to go about life as usual.  real slooooow day at the candy store.  they were funny, though.

i took oberon to see cirque du soleil in madison last night.  it was awesome, and he was super good company for it.  he's the one who introduced me to the cirque stuff in the first place.  we saw Saltimbanco.  i'm still not sure what it was about.  a lot of their shows have a main story, which is interspersed with clowning bits.  this seemed to have maybe...related episodes/snippets?  and lots of clowning, but it wasn't clear if or how they were all connected.  still, there were some really cool acrobatics, and drumming, and the bungee ballet things (i would love to try that out some time - looks like such fun). this is what wikipedia says it is about...  the first bit reminded me of the teletubbies.  there was a lot of happy waving and exuberance.  whee.

posted by: juuitsu at November 18, 2007 20:17 | link | comments (2) |

i'm reading this book called "A Year in Japan" by Kate T. Williamson.  she spent a year living in Japan, and her thoughts, stories, etc. are collected in this beautiful book.  it's very...wabi sabi.  she made oodles of watercolors which are accompanied by her words, most of which are succinct and to the point - kind of like haiku or the best graphic novels.  she maintains this wonderful balance between images and words that, together, complete a picture.  plus, i just really like what she has to say/show.  i'd really like to see Kyoto, now.

Moon Viewing:

"One of my favorite aspects of Japanese culture is the combination of nature appreciation and social events.  There are maple-viewing expeditions, evening parties under the cherry blossoms, and, although this seems to have been more common in earlier times, moon-viewing parties.  Many old aristocratic residences have special platforms or rooms where nobles would gather to write moon-related verse as they gazed at the sky or into the moon's reflection in a nearby pond."

posted by: juuitsu at November 14, 2007 09:58 | link | comments (5) |

i have rabbit hair plastered to my eyeball.  oh god.  it hurts.  my eyes are all inflamed and red and ANGRY, but the bunny is oblivious to my allergic reaction.  i was ever-so-innocently reading the Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service (it was on my reading list from awhile ago, and i decided to knock out a bunch of things this month) while stretched out on the floor, and powder b. thought it might be a particularly *good* book (where good=tasty), so he gave it a nibble.  and i moved it away.  he changed positions and gave it a nibble.  i moved it away.  it went on like this (.6666666666666 repeating) until i made him quiescent by resting my head on him.  MISTAKE.  i inhaled about 30 megatons of rabbit hair (and probably microscopic bits of rabbit dander) and now i am all puffy about the face.  it is obnoxious.  do not Bury your nose in Bunny.  Bunny always wins.

i spent about 10 minutes today allowing myself to be irritated by other people's word choices.  it's petty, yeah.  see if you can resist, though. 

1.) we were voting on where to hold the staff holiday shindig, and one of the choices was a tapas restaurant.  i've really liked all the tapas places i've tried before (ok, two), and i think the concept of having lots of little dishes to *taste* is pretty neat.  someone hadn't heard of *tapas* before, so i was explaining the small shared dishes concept when a coworker cut in and said, "yeah, but the food is WEIRD."  what?  what does that mean?  weird when compared to what?  just because it's unusual and combines ingredients you may not have heard of before doesn't mean that it's WEIRD.

2.) i've heard japanese and chinese people referred to TWICE today as *orientals*.  and while i realize that collective words go out of style as times change, i still think it's time for folks to upgrade so that they can be more specific.  my grandma was fond of the word *oriental* and we got over her using it all the time.  bom did mention that half the family was *oriental*, you know, just in case gma had forgotten, n'stuff.  i don't know why this should offend me.  it's not that i think that people should be as easily identified and classified as birds (Genus, species), but the users of *oriental*  don't seem to care or realize that there's a difference between different orientals (*grin*) or asian peoples.  asian is at least slightly more descriptive because it denotes a certain continent...still pretty nonspecific, but better.

3.) someone looked at the hummus i'd brought for our luncheon and said, "what the hell is THAT?"  it was like my elementary school cafeteria all over again (except back then it was tofu).  same response, though: "EWWWWWWW." 

4.) we were discussing our favorites/nominations for possible reads in a big community wide reading endeavor and i think we may be left with a bunch of overly sentimental books because all the others were too: hot, cold, racy, teen-focused, adult, issued, sexy, depressing, boring, classic...the list goes on (and, i had my part in creating it - i ruled out depressing Russian fiction).  i think we've moved into the "universal appeal" territory, and i'm not sure what's left.  it's kind of sad that we can't pick something that was just Really Good.  or that we can't agree on what that means.  and i felt frustrated because it seems like we're locked into finding something that everyone is already familiar with and not finding something that will expand minds in any new kind of way.  comfort is good, too - i know this...  but, ok, when a few of us suggested "Where the Red Fern Grows" as a possibility, someone else said, "how many people here are going to be able to relate to being poor and growing up barefoot with coonhounds?"  right.  well, the point is that the author weaves something that makes you suspend your disbelief and enter a new world - one with which you might not have experience.  i think being young and wanting something so much (like pets, for instance) and working hard to get it and then being ripped apart by the grief of losing it is something pretty much everyone can relate to.  so i said. 

so, none of that is really anything to get up in arms over.  but i was briefly peevish anyway, because it annoys me that the response to anything new or heretofore unexperienced is fear, dismissal, negative.  and people don't even think about how this comes off, because *normal* is some kind of protective aura around their own little personal universe.

posted by: juuitsu at November 13, 2007 22:28 | link | comments (4) |

and, many thanks to all of you who have offered me the use of your electric hand mixers.  i wish i hadn't been so hasty about buying a new one!  :)  

posted by: juuitsu at November 11, 2007 19:36 | link | comments (5) |

*uncurls from fetal position* 

i got tired.  there's been too much work this week and not enough playtime.  or adventure.  and things are piling up.  so.  i just want to be sure that there's enough time for the stuff that i want to do and that nothing that's meant to be fun becomes a *chore.*  otherwise, there's little point in my entertainments - because i can't enjoy or savor them - they become just more things on the to-do list, to be crossed off when accomplished.  speaking of...i'd like to have that sense of accomplishment back, too.  k?  thx.

what weekend?

after working friday and saturday, i got up at 5 this morning and drove myself to Lemont to participate in the Roll the Tollway bike thing.  i just recently started using yahoomaps as my new directional service provider, and...wow, i don't know if i missed 135th street or what, but i drove around lost for at least 30 minutes once i got near and i never did find where Rte. 83 and 135th st. meet up (which yahoomaps assures me they do - shoulda printed the map out, too, and not just the street by street directions).  i ended up passing a road that was on the map that the event people sent me (which was also not very helpful since most streets were unlabeled), picked the right way by accident, and then followed some guy with a bunch of bikes strapped to the back of his car - figured he had to be going the same place.  never found that parking *lot* (i assume there was something like that??), and ended up parking - with, seemingly, everyone else, off on the shoulder of Smith St.  that seemed to be ok with local law enforcement people, so yay. 

the ride was full - they cut off registration at 5000 people.  wow.  but it was one of the better organized rides i've been to.  they had everyone lined up and they let large groups leave in waves - one wave every 10 minutes.  so the initial bunching up was much less of a pain than it usually is.  they also started earlier than advertised, which was nice, because we didn't have to stand around waiting for an hour before our start time.  there were a lot of bike club people riding, too, and they were in prime condition and FAST, despite the headwind that plagued us for a good 11 miles of the ride.  i had on a t-shirt, fleece shirt, and my *water-resistant* windbreaker, long underwear bottoms, my yoga pants, wool socks, gloves, and a hat under my helmet.  since there was a 1-mile ride to the actual course (the I-355 tollway), i was able to discover before we'd actually started that i was way too warm.  i took off the fleece and stuffed it in my backpack (i brought the big one, because i figured there'd be temperature problems) for the duration. 

[pause while i go put the recycling out on the curb - talk amongst yourselves...]

the wind also made it a really grueling ride.  that, and the hills.  these aren't the sort of hills that you can be done with quickly, either.  these are nicely graded hills that you don't really notice when you're driving along, but that will eat up your energy on a bike.  windy, hilly, exhausting.  there were several turn-around points.  being the masochist that i, apparently, am, i ignored them and put in all my miles.  of course, there was a point where you could loop back in and do another 11 miles and i said, "hell, no" at that point, because i'm not completely crazy.  i am, however, completely drained.  my wave left a little before 9, and i got back a little after 11.  i stopped for a few minutes at one of the rest stops to get some water and adjust my hat (it kept falling over my eyes - annoying!).  i figured if i stopped anywhere for too long, i wouldn't feel like getting back on - still, a longish walk back.  i used my gears much more than i usually do, as there were plenty of climbs.  hey, they actually help!  a bit.  i'd still like to test-ride some road bikes and see what kind of difference there is.  my mountain bike was SLUGGISH with it's big fat tires on that loooong paved roadway. 

the best part of the ride (besides the part where i made it back to my car) was stopping at CPK and getting a Sicilian pizza.  i was so hungry by the time i hit Schaumburg - i'd already eaten the apple i'd brought and drained my water bottle - and the pizza was so warm and spicy.  *sigh*  it was fantastic.  and, since i was there, i got a salad for lunch tomorrow, too.  yum. 

a quick summary, then:  too much stuff, exhausting bike ride (good exercise, though), tasty 'za.

posted by: juuitsu at November 11, 2007 19:26 | link | comments (4) |

last night my computer did a disturbing crashy thing in the middle of my Dungeon Runners killing frenzy.  dammit.  and so today i got to thinking about updating my drivers for ye olde video card...  i had MyComputer search for new drivers (hahahaha) on the MS website (to no avail), and ended up taking matters into my own hands by going directly to the nvidia site to see if they had any updated (since 2004!  wow, i can't believe my computer is that OLD, it feels like i just built the little bugger...aw.  that must mean it's time to upgrade!) drivers.  hey, wow, they do!  as of November 6, 2007.  so, i guess i picked a good week to look for drivers...

posted by: juuitsu at November 09, 2007 19:32 | link | comments |

i came into work the other day and found this delightful book sitting on my desk.  it was in bad shape and i decided to read it before deciding whether or not to replace it.

i seriously never remember having so many questions about using the potty.  i mean, what is there to it, really?  but i guess that people (and kids) will believe all sorts of crazy things/have reasonable and unreasonable concerns - unless you tell them otherwise - and this book is really very thorough, so any strange potty-using myths will be dispelled after a quick perusal.  i should point out that no child of potty-training age (barring any prodigies) will be able to *read* this particular book on their own.

onward!

it starts off with an introduction to "Angus" a friendly terrier-esque dog in a red shirt (bearing his name), who promises to answer all of our questions.  Angus knows we have a lot of questions about using the potty, and he encourages us to find our own words for "poop" and "pee pee."  [aside] i'd like to remind parents out there at this point that if you *do* come up with your own words for "poop" and "pee pee" and they aren't anything like the ones other people use, you would do well to explain to your child/ren about your special family vocabulary, dialects, and neologisms.  otherwise, they will go to school and meet other kids and talk about these things and (best case scenario) no one will know what they are talking about or (worst case) people will figure out what they're talking about and crucify them.  it's ok to call "poop" "poop" and "pee pee" "pee pee," though, your kids will probably be crucified for that as well.  Angus might look into providing an appendix with a list of popular names for these, our bodily wastes. [/aside]

some important questions get answered, namely:

* where do pee-pee and poop come from?
* why don't pee-pee and poop look like food and drink?
* what's a potty?
* how do i know when to go to the potty?
* will i wear diapers after i learn to use the potty?
* why do i have to wipe after i go to the potty?
* why do i have to wash my hands?  (i LOVE the answer to this question.  it begins thus: "Even if you're  very careful when you're wiping, you can get a little bit of pee-pee or poop on your fingers by mistake.  Everybody does."  whew, ok, EVERYBODY DOES.  this just made me laugh out loud.)
* where do pee-pee and poop go when you flush?
* what if i have to go potty when i'm not home?
* what if i don't get to the potty in time?

i'd like to just quote from the last page...

"Sometimes it's hard to feel a pee-pee or poop coming when you're doing something else, like listening to a story or eating a snack or playing with your friends.  Sometimes you don't feel the pee-pee or poop coming until it's already out.  That happens to everybody when they first start using the potty, and it's no big deal..."  really, it isn't.

i'm buying another copy of this book for the collection.  this is such a reassuring book.  and i'm pretty sure - if i'd had questions about potty use - this would have cleared them all up.  plus?  it cracks me up.

posted by: juuitsu at November 07, 2007 22:51 | link | comments (2) |

holy crap.  there's only three things left on my "to do" list.  probably means it's time for me to work up another one, because there's no way that that's all there is to do.  lies.

i stayed in this morning (it's my late start day) and cleaned house - my house, rabbit houses - with the first season of Heroes playing in the background.  everything is really dusty.  i got distracted by the dust (and the desire to eradicate it) on my bookshelves and ended up going through my collection and weeding stuff.  things that went: 1.) books i'm not going to get around to reading this century (and if i do find the time, i'll just borrow them from the library) 2.) books i've already read which aren't worth the space to keep them (or their weight, if i should decide to move again anytime soon) 3.) how did *that* get on my shelf?!  4.) books i once cared for, but have since changed my mind about. 

and then i decided to knuckle down and take on my box o' writing.  this is stuff from as far back as high school - really, seriously bad angsty poetry, pitiful journal writings, an occasional brilliant phrase, but on the whole MAJORLY embarrassing stuff that no one ever, ever, ever should read.  maybe.  and if they *should* by accident happen to read it, they should remember that i am now a completely different, functional, rational person.  uh-huh.  i am so burning that box.  it made me realize, though, that i used my paper journal primarily as a space to work stuff out.  anything that got bottled up in my head came out in my journal, where i could be as pathetic and miserable as i needed to in order to feel better and figure out where i was going and what i was doing.  i have some really good pieces i did for English classes and creative writing, and this underground literary magazine we started in college...  but all my other Good Stuff is in the hands of other people...or pushing up the daisies (or, possibly, the alliaria petiolata - invasive species; it's positively everywhere).  i recently got an email from an old high school friend who said she started thinking of me when some drawings that peloquin and i did of our algebra teacher fell out of her closet.  and i wondered, why is it that random people have more of my creative output than i do?  ditto for the tape/recording p. and i made of our own, original julie nasby tunes.  who knows where that's gotten to.

oberon once told me that *his* high school notebooks (filled with his most creative musings) disappeared at the end of the school year in a massive locker purgification blitzkrieg - he was shattered by the experience.  i had already given my good stuff away.  maybe that's why i don't (can't) miss it, and why i wouldn't be completely torn up if the rest of it disappeared.  i wonder if i'll change my mind some day and wish i had more to supplement the memories i have stored up.  will there be things that are so imbued with the essence of people, place, time that i'll be reluctant to part with them?

posted by: juuitsu at November 07, 2007 22:28 | link | comments (4) |

i get the feeling this happens a lot here - the unsolicited volunteering of one's time and resources for projects one would like nothing to do with.  but i find myself in the odd position of not really having a choice.  ok.  maybe not.  i'm not sure what would happen if i objected, but it feels like Bad Things might be in store for me.

the flying penis rocketship is no longer on the pavement on the path through the park.  it's too bad.  i should have remembered to snap a picture of it before it became too late.  it was a little stick dude riding an enormous penis that was pointed straight out into the Far Beyond.  bravely daring to go where no...um, penis rocketships have gone before.  excellent.  the rider didn't have a saddle or a helmet or any observable means of directing said penis rocketship, nor did he have any means of life support.  it seemed a mission of folly, sure to end in some dismal fashion or another.  and at the same time it was so perky and jolly and bold.  maybe i'll do my own drawring... 

here goes:


(insert drawring)

in other news, i nearly killed myself in the shower this morning.  i stepped in with my right foot and KEPT sliding until i smashed my shoulder into the shower wall, and my left knee into the side of the tub.  the knee-smashing was the only thing that kept me from falling all the way down.  it hurt A LOT.  while this was happening i was screaming - not piercing little girl screaming, but loud battle-cry style, like i was fighting off warrior mongols or barbarians, naked, of course.  and when i was able to right myself, i wondered 'did anyone hear that and wonder what the hell i was doing?'  hm.

posted by: juuitsu at November 07, 2007 16:29 | link | comments (4) |

i'm doing a lot of baking right now.  and my oven is...squeaking.  i'm not sure why.  it doesn't sound like a mouse-y squeak - can you imagine?  how horrible would that be - to discover i'd accidentally gotten mouse in my lasagna?  ugh.  but i'm not sure *why* it's squeaking.  *shrug*  i guess i will just ignore it. 

i started making cookies and when i got to the mix-y part, i quickly discovered that my electric beater had died.  that's right.  the electricity does NOT flow.  stupid thing.  and i distinctly remember thinking the last time i used it - gosh, this is so nice; it works so much better than the one i inherited from grandma (which also died).  bam.  kiss of death.  so.  it was obviously a cheap piece of shit.  i'm wondering if i should bother trying to repair it.  and if i don't repair it, is there some place i can take it's little, broken, plastic carcass so that its bits might be harvested and recycled?  *sigh*  mostly, i'd like to throw it across the room.  well, ok, no, i don't feel that strongly about it, but it was a bit inconvenient.  i mean, i had to use a SPOON to mix my cookie dough.  that was hard work.  i cheated a bit, though, and half-melted the butter in the oven.  made the mixing lots easier.

* cranberry ginger cookies (with pecans!)
* chocolate chip oatmeal pecan cookies (also with pecans - in case you missed it the first time.  someone must have pecans she wants to use up.)

i'm trying something new with the lasagna...  well, it'll be new anyway since i haven't ever really made it myself before.  i got some wheat lasagna noodles which say (on the package, just there -->) that you don't need to boil them.  oh really?  i guess they just absorb the moisture from the sauce.  or something.  i hope they don't suck ass.  anyway.  i used lots of sauce just in case.  and, since i don't really like ricotta cheese all that much, i mixed cottage cheese and tofu together with the spinach i'd steamed.  it tasted pretty damn good before i'd layered it in with the noodles and sauce, so i have high hopes.  also, there's a shitload of cheese on top of everything.  you really can't go wrong with a shitload of cheese. 

posted by: juuitsu at November 03, 2007 20:38 | link | comments (5) |

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