Name: juuitsu watanabe
juuitsu on i am so tired it's s...
juuitsu on i had a really scary...
Mo'nonymous on i had a really scary...
Mo'nonymous on i am so tired it's s...
juuitsu on oberon talked me int...
juuitsu on i am so tired it's s...
juuitsu on i had a really scary...
Mo'nonymous on i had a really scary...
Mo'nonymous on i am so tired it's s...
InMyLife on oberon talked me int...
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ow. terrible headache. going to bed early.
"just an ordinary story 'bout the way things go, round and around nobody knows, but the highway goes on forever, that ole highway goes on forever..." ~oak ridge boys
dreams.
i'm in a large parking lot. the edges are flooded, because everything is flooded, because it hasn't stopped raining for weeks. there's thick mud everywhere that *isn't* underwater, and probably everywhere that is, too, except that you can't see it as well. i seem to be...parked in. i'm near the end row, a couple of rows up, and for some reason, i can't maneuver myself out of the lot. reverse, reorient, forwards, backwards, hop hop hop! no hopping. not much forwarding either. i'm dangerously close now to both the mud and the water and i'm trying to avoid both. the water looks deepish. the mud looks sticky. i reverse again, crazily, too fast, directly into the water. this is exactly the amount of space i needed, though, i'll totally be free of the lot once i move forward. i throw the car into drive and...feel my stomach drop as the water picks up the back end and we start to float backwards. no. no, no, no, no. the front wheels pop up, too, as the vehicle is carried backwards. i don't know what to do. do i stay with the car and hope it hits a shallow spot behind us? then i can reverse out of the flood water. or do i jump out and push it forward? the water isn't so deep...why is my damn car so floaty. trickle trickle drip. those are the sounds of the interior filling up with water and that is very bad. if i open the door now, the water will only come in faster. if it gets too heavy, it will sink the car, and i may not be able to get it out of the water at all (or, will it make it heavy enough to hit the bottom and then i can drive out? how soaked can it get before all systems fail?). still don't know what to do. the car floats forward. i feel the front tires hit the ground. immediately, i hit the gas and we FLY out of the water. a moment to catch my breath, then i squelch out of the parking lot.
***
i've just moved - into a dinky one bedroom apartment that's half-sunken into the ground (sorta basement level). the walls are bright, bright blue - a deep turquoise, the blue family's equivalent of pepto bismol (this is a most bizarre metaphor). it looks ok at first glance, but upon further inspection, the paint is starting to run off the walls, and there's water pouring down the back wall in sheets, then draining at floor level. this isn't meant to be an effect, and it isn't pretty or peaceful - it's disturbing. there are large insects in the dark corners. i shiver and wonder what it will take to make this place livable. i'm still moving my stuff in, and i don't know where i want anything. i have too much stuff and there's too little space. oberon's already helped me move things around a couple of times. he's standing in the middle of the room with hands on hips saying that it looks *much* better. better than before, but it's certainly not ideal. if *he'd* seen the bugs he'd have made a hasty exit by now. and now he does leave. peloquin arrives and announces that we're going to the movies. he looks around at my new place with distaste and adds, "with the feldspars." really? we haven't seen chris in years. and peloquin hasn't ever met tom, chris' brother - *i* barely know him and he lived down the block from me for years. he nods seriously. i wonder where he ran into them. it doesn't really matter, though. peloquin has always thought chris was hot. but chris doesn't go for guys. his brother, however, does. it was a big scandal in his family. we're not sure what happened exactly, but one day tom was gone and we never saw him again. we think it was his dad that threw him out. a few years later his old man died, but tom never came back. we don't know what happened to his mom. it's funny how you can live a few houses away from people and know so little about them. you'd think proximity might make you more familiar, but it isn't always the case. chris AND tom. hm. we scowl some more at my apartment and then make our exit.
The Outsiders
S.E. Hinton
(Audio CD – read by Jim Fyfe)
Ponyboy is a greaser – a poor, disadvantaged kid who hangs around with other poor disadvantaged kids who just happen to use a lot of oil on their hair. You might call his group a gang, or you might not. Their rivals are the Socs (so-shas) – rich kids who have everything they want, but no idea what to do with themselves. Ponyboy’s different than a lot of the other greasers, though – he’s smart, he does well in school, and he notices and cares about things that most of the other kids don’t pay attention to.
One night, Ponyboy and his friend and fellow greaser, Johnny, get into a scrap with some Socs. One of the Socs tries to drown Ponyboy, and Johnny, afraid that they’re going to kill him, murders the Soc. The boys are terrified. On the advice of their friend, Dally, they take off for the countryside and hide out in an old abandoned church. After a week, they’re ready to turn themselves in to the authorities, and just as they’re about to head back to town, the church catches on fire and several children are caught inside. Ponyboy and Johnny both rush back in to save the kids and are proclaimed heroes, but Johnny is terribly burned and doesn’t recover from his injuries. Soon after his death, Dally holds up a store and gets shot by the police. Ponyboy can’t quite bring himself to care about anything after that. He’s afraid and in denial and nothing has any meaning for him anymore – until he has a heart to heart chat with his brothers and realizes that he’s been avoiding his problems instead of facing them. The book ends as Ponyboy begins to write down his and Johnny and the rest of the greasers’ story for an English assignment.
I had a new member come to my teen book club last month and she brought The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton and although she wouldn’t tell me much about the book plotwise, she told me that she’d become obsessed with it, and the movie version after she’d read it. I was intrigued, because I’ve never read it, and I’ve never loved a book assigned in school SO much – and she obviously loved it. I checked it out the following day when I was browsing through our teen audio book collection.
I can’t get into some audio books - something about how they start or how they’re read just puts me off immediately and I find my attention wandering. I don’t know if this particular story owes more to S.E. Hinton’s language or Jim Fyfe’s reading, but I was immediately hooked. I’ve noticed this before with audio books – if a reader reads with an accent and really comes to embody the character(s) for me, I can’t stop listening. I feel like s/he’s talking directly to me, telling me his or her story, and the story has this added authenticity.
Anyway, The Outsiders was great. I loved the characters – especially Ponyboy and Johnny. And after seeing all of the other greasers through Ponyboy’s eyes, I really knew and understood them. Ponyboy’s one of those dirtfarmer philosophers – he’s young and inexperienced and naïve (but so wise at the same time), but he thinks about everything and in his head is a marvelous place to be. You will cry over Johnny and Dally and you’ll wonder – like Ponyboy does – why people fight and why over such stupid things? And hopefully, this greaser kid will remind you that there are still some good, some beautiful things in the world. Don’t forget.
my temporary pirates of the caribbean tattoo lasted almost as long as my henna tattoo - it was only vigorous scrubbing that removed the vestiges of it. monkeybaby left it, and a note, between my doors a couple months ago. i applied it before going down to urbana - i felt it would help me channel my inner biker dude...
i'm doing a *cute* felt animals craft next month...
here's one of the ones i've made so far:
this was my walk playlist tonight...
Pump Up the Jam - Technotronic
Barbara Ann - The Beach Boys
Beer for My Horses - Toby Keith, Willie Nelson...
Upside Down - Diana Ross
It's Raining Men - Weather Girls
Enter Sandman - Metallica
The Unforgiven - Metallica
Nothing Else Matters - Metallica
Insensitive - Jann Arden
HIde and Seek - Imogen Heap
Lump - The Presidents of the United States of America
Groove Is in the Heart - Deee-Lite
I Touch Myself - Divinyls
Got My Mind Set on You - George Harrison
The Warrior - Patty Smyth
Tennessee - Arrested Development
Fork-Boy - Flotsam and Jetsam
Spoonman - Soundgarden
It's Tricky - Run DMC
excellent...it made me all dance-y, which provided a nice complement to my jerky avoid and slap at the mosquitoes antics. i'm going to break my neck.
ok, but before i go, i have to post this meme thingie...
i will, in the next 365 days (but probably a lot sooner) send something handmade via the USPS to the next 3 individuals who comment on this post (they didn't open up a monday night session of that pottery class i wanted to take, so if you were wanting a mug, it's probably not in the cards for you...). yay!
you can only win once, though you can comment as much as you like. :)
and, if you win, please post this same offer in your blog! (if you are morally opposed to these kinds of things, just ignore this post and pretend it never happened - i am often morally opposed to these kinds of things, so i totally understand. it's just that it sounded like fun to trade handmade stuff. and i've done this several times with other people - references available upon request. ha.)
the continuation! OR, 'i should have gotten the I-Pass before i drove all the way down there and back!'
i will, some day, get an I-Pass. really. in fact, i was going to get one last week before i headed down to Urbana. but i ran out of time in that way that i often do. it got to be friday afternoon and i was thinking, ok do i have time to stop at jewel and pick one of those babies up? i decided not. as a result, i've put quite a dent in my collection of change. but! i realized that taking 90 actually does save me some time getting home. so, once i have one? i might do that more often. and hey, guess what? 290 doesn't have tolls. i'm an idiot for never having figured that out before this weekend. i still don't have a good idea in my head of where it goes, but s'about time i learned.
i got home from the bike thing a little after 2pm and took a really nice, hot shower. mm. oberon got here around 5, maybe, and we walked over to DQ and got cherry dipped cones. when i was a kid, i'd order the chocolate dipped cones (they were a favorite of bom's and mine until DQ came out with blizzards - then i switched over to oreo blizzards and never looked back) - i was fascinated by the hard chocolate shell (it's just like magic!). i'd never tried the cherry ones before, but they're damned good - like, maybe even good enough to order next time i go good.
we came back to my place and o. presented me with my very own...padded battle axe! it is amazing. it is long and red and very, very, very lethal (in a foam-fighting sort of way). i like it a lot. i think he noticed my enthusiasm for the axe-wielding when we played Gauntlet awhile back. my warrior dude had a flame-y axe that was devastating. i was smitten. i smote o. he immediately began to rethink the wisdom of giving me such a gift. i am gleeful, though, so that is worth something. :)
then? we played with legos (seriously) for the next 6 hours. we built mecha - giant robots (well, in this case they were miniature mecha, so the 'giant' part is all in your mind) and then laid waste to one another's mecha armies. the majority of the laying waste bit took place this afternoon, after we'd gotten some sleep. mecha manufacturing is an exhausting business. (note: bunnies are very curious about legos - powder likes to run through the piles of unused pieces, and he scented - rubbed his chin across - all of oberon's containers - MINE!). slept a lot.
here's a picture of some of my mecha that didn't get any play. they got to be sort of benevolent totems that channeled energy and power to the mecha (my guys) on the field.
the tall one with the knife-y arms has a laser bosom (and a horrible vine-y thing shooting out of its eye - this plunges deep into its enemies and quickly takes root and grows until it bursts out of them). it mesmerizes AND annihilates. plus? it's hawt. the one with the multi-colored toenails is a space chicken. it has some kind of crystal zappy thing attached to its head. watch out. the one on the far right is a scorpupine - scorpion/porcupine mecha - very venomous.
oberon had gotten some mini-mecha sets just for this purpose, so we didn't use my new creations. i did, however, make some fantastic tribal-themed weapons for the mini-mecha to wield. this is xerxes - one of the lego mecha i created to crush oberon's army. mine all ended up with a sort of fangy, tusky, organic feel - unintentionally. i just liked those pieces.
after a resounding victory, we cleaned up our lego mecha and sacked out in front of "Natural City," which is a Korean Bladerunner-esque movie. it was very pretty, and quite good. i was fighting to stay awake at that point, so, i missed some of the action. *snoozethud* and i am still in much the same way - snoozy - so i shall now quit this summary and hit the sack.
i'm in a "what do i do first?" state! i should eat something because my tummy is gnawful and if i don't eat an actual *meal* i will just munch on whatever is available. good thing i picked up some groceries or there'd be issues. among the groceries is a frozen bag of chicken alfredo florentine - or chicken with cheesy white sauce and spinach. the "sauce" comes in little chunks that melt in the pan when you fry it all up. it is cooking right now. and? in 5 minutes it will be ready and i can make the gnawful feeling go away.
i just realized i sound like a complete idiot (as in, *right now*, you, juuitsu, sound like a complete idiot - and not, oh this is the very first time ever that i have noticed this. i concede that it is an ongoing struggle). i'm going to blame my current state of idiocy on sleep deprivation (you know who you are). but, since i had a really smashingly good weekend, i'm not complaining. yet. (really this is all just an extended, 'i'm sooooo very tired...but we are all sick of that, aren't we?)
earlier this week i decided that i *would* ride in the "ride across the prairie" bike event in Mahomet (Champaign/Urbana area). i read about it this spring and had marked it on my calendar as a possibility. after JM accepted a position at the university, it became more than just a possibility, since he offered me a place to stay before the ride - thus making it more appealing (than, say, the 'rolling on the river' ride, which was also taking place this weekend - i think j9's bek was riding in that. i looked into doing that one instead, since it was closer, but you had to raise money in order to participate, and then pay an entry fee as well - it was looking like ~ $100, and the Mahomet event was $25, plus whatever i spent on gas to get there and back). i was also hoping that i could find someone to ride with me (to be honest, i sent out an invite to a bunch of people back in july for the "chase the moon" ride and got a lot of 'don't own a bike' and '25 miles, are you INSANE?!' responses back, so i didn't make much of an effort to find any companions this time around).
i did do one brilliant thing. i left for Urbana around 6:45pm instead of right from work (which would have put me in the thick of traffic), so it was barely congested when i hit 294. no traffic woes! didn't get to JM and S's until 11:00ish. they took me on a tour of their new house - it's really big! and i got to meet all their books (i love, love, love book people), and some of their artistic projects. they've only been moved in for about a month, and they've been working pretty much constantly on making the space their own. this has involved removing a lot of really hideous wall paper. they invited me to strip some off if i was feeling antsy or felt an attack of OCD coming on. we were up past 1am being chatty, so there really wasn't time...sorry, guys!
i snuck out just after 6:30 (reeeeally tired!) the next morning to get over to the starting point in Mahomet. (k, note - one thing i really appreciate is when people have stuff in logical places and you can easily navigate their space because it makes sense to you immediately. JM and S are *really* very organized. they have paper AND writing utensils right by the phone in the kitchen - which is where i would keep stuff if i still had a phone in the kitchen. and i realize as i type this that my space is not as conveniently laid out and intuitive to others. hm. but that's ok, because it's MINE. and...i am done talking about this now.) registration had just begun when i arrived (and by 'just begun' i mean there was a guy there who had volunteered to take 'day of' registrants, but he was not the same guy who had the forms or the maps or the money with which to make change - he arrived a little later). i talked a little while with the folks who were there and then filled out my form, paid my event fee, and got my 30(30.3) mile map. note to self: wear something with pockets - other than a backpack - next time you do one of these smaller events, so you can stash your map somewhere accessible while you're riding. (i ended up folding it around one of the handlebars of my bike, because i needed to refer to it often.) the guy who registered me forgot to mention that they'd spray painted the route (at crucial junctures) so riders would know which way they needed to go. so, at the first turn on my map i noticed a symbol and wondered if i was supposed to be paying attention to it. i decided to see if they kept turning up, and, if so, further decided that following those would be a lot easier than having to deal with the map. they did, and i did, and all was well (they looked like the spider/clock cipher you invented, o., with the leg branching off in the direction you were supposed to go/turn).
you know that part in Forrest Gump, where Forrest is running across the country? later he tells Jenny what it was like - how beautiful it was, how it felt, and she wishes that she'd been there to see it, too. he assures her that she *was* there - she was with him the whole time. yeah. i also carry people around in my thoughts, but their reality in my thoughts is never so concrete that they actually see and feel what i'm experiencing. mostly, i wish they were there so that they could see in person. then i wouldn't have to explain. i could just look over, make the eye contact and we'd know we were thinking the same thing. since you all couldn't make it... i came out onto the first section of road and the sun was just coming up over the cornfields; at the same time, the sky was filled with huge, dark, angry storm clouds and the puffy white cumulonimbus types - everything was kind of bright and misty with this powerfully forbidding stormy potential. at any moment there could have been a terrific storm, and the contradictory sky was giving me lots of energy, so i pedaled FAST, into the wind. this is what it feels like to be on a big adventure. the sky is wide open above you, the road stretches out before you, and there are miles and miles and miles to be traveled and adventures to be had along the way. at 17 miles i felt like i could go on forever. at 27, i was getting a wee bit tired (time for another break!). at 30, i passed the turnoff to get back to the registration area, so i probably tacked on another 4 or 5 miles at the end, when i didn't have much left. i got out to the road portion where i'd started earlier that morning and swore. "shit. i passed it." i gave myself another 6 miles tops - after that, if i wasn't back, i was just going to fall over wherever i happened to be.
i was almost completely alone for most of the ride. i followed a couple of riders out, but they quickly pulled ahead, and a few more passed me after we'd stopped to rest about 14-15 miles out. i think most of the folks who left early with me were doing th 60 mile loop. i rescued a cicada that had just shed its skin - inside the porta-potty at our rest stop. it was this minty green color - wings and body, both. new cicada wings are early leaf green and still foldy and furled - they haven't had a chance to dry yet. it was on its back, kicking its legs in the air ineffectually. i felt terrible about it. what if someone came in and stepped on it? what if it was never able to right itself? it's got to be the worst to come out of your skin, or your chrysalis/cocoon and immediately get eaten or trapped or have some other stupid horrible thing happen to you before you even get a chance to look around. i quickly surveyed the area around the porta-pot for a stick, but there wasn't anything handy. so i reached down to help it turn over, and it quickly grasped my finger with all of its legs. that was...somewhat alarming. i hadn't really intended to have such intimate contact with it. but, it settled onto my finger and didn't make any suspicious movements, so i carried it over to a tree and let it cling to the bark and dry its wings and body.
i finished up around 10:30ish (finally!). the folks at registration said i was the first one back. hm. which doesn't mean anything since a bunch of people started after me and a lot of folks were doing the long loop. i grabbed a bagel and some water, changed my clothes, and headed home. i found out today that JM and S drove over to the park to say goodbye, but must have just missed me. they arrived either just before or just after i left - i didn't see them at all. the park itself was really nice, and they spent some time enjoying it - if not my company. :)
and now this is really long, so i shall make a new post! ...the continuation!
this shall be a sort of disconnected list of things i've been saving up in my head today.
it is a goofy, splendid day. i read the best issue of Publisher's Weekly EVER. it was one of those issues that compiles what's being published in upcoming months from every publisher in the WORLD. er, well, maybe not that comprehensive, but still. there were just so many funny titles. like, "Drunk, Divorced, and Covered in Cat Hair." what a great image. i giggled for about 20 minutes. i'm sure it was distracting for everyone else in my office. there was a kid's (picture book) title about a cow that likes to scare the mailman (i put a hold on that one).
we were uberefficient on monday and took down all of the summer reading challenge paraphernalia (did you know this word had two 'r' s in it? i did not!). i'd made this huge collage on the walls behind the reference desk - - people were a little stunned by its complexity and enormity initially. but once it was gone, everything looked so plain. i think every library employee (including the director) stopped by to tell me that Something Must Be Done About the Freaky Beige Space. so, i put up a new collage - of readers and reading. it's not quite as extensive as the previous one, but it really makes things look better. there was a chatty older gentleman talking with me as i put it up. he was the sort to offer a lot of teasing and compliments. he announced to another staff person that i'd chased him away with all of my activity. and then, when i got some other recruits to help me, he said he liked being surrounded by gorgeous young women. [aside: he left the table for a few minutes to talk to someone else, and i glanced down at what he'd been reading - a letter from his grandson, written all wobbly-like in Young Child Block Print. it was so sweet. not so much the letter from the grandchild, but that he was reading it in the library and obviously intended to respond, was carrying it around with him like a precious thing. thanks to bom, i used to write a lot of similar letters to relatives. i wonder if they carried them around and showed them off, too? i was so touched by that. what a good grandpa!]
later, out at the desk, i was looking up a book for someone and she said, "would you look at the head of hair on you! my daughter would kill for that hair!" i certainly hope not. should i hire some ninja? my hair secret this week is HUMIDITY. (we've just had yet another thunderstorm.)
i went on a bike ride this morning. the part of the trail that was under water last time i went is even more so now. instead of 8 inches of water in the middle, it was about twice that, and covered even more trail. on my way back, i passed a woman who paused long enough to tell me that the trail was "underwater" ahead of me. i said "thanks!" and hurried on. didn't seem worth stopping to explain that i'd already been through it. lots of exercise in the last couple of days. i can feel all of my arm muscles moving - ow, ow, ow ow. mostly it hurts, but i feel Very Strong.
dinner or ice cream?
ICE CREAM!
i came home tonight and it was still raining pretty heavily. as i crossed the street, the older man who lives in one of the first floor apartments came out and opened the door for me. he said he saw me drive up and didn't want me to get wet. that was really nice. i had no idea that he paid so much attention to what's going on outside. he explained that since he's retired he doesn't have anything else to do. so we talked for awhile about being retired, the library, his pet cat. nice man. i've not taken the opportunity to get to know him at all before this. i'm still kinda stunned that he thought to open the door for me. why are people being so nice? is the world about to end? :)
o. - i squish you!
sometimes my dreams take stuff i've been thinking about and just combine it in new ways. i give you - i have to pee at a gaming convention. [i should mention that i've never been to a gaming convention so i have, really, no idea what they're actually like. my sleepytime brain is just throwing stuff out there.]
i'm sitting at a large table with a bunch of people i don' t know. the table is in oberon's new apartment, which is in a several-floored building by the sea. before everyone arrived i was looking out the window down at the cold, cold water. it's still choppy enough so that the waves crashing against the beach break up the ice, but there are sheets and chunks of the broken up ice floating around like miniature icebergs. there are no other buildings around - this appears to be the last bastion of apartmenthood, the apartment citadel. it's my turn. i don't know what we're playing and no one has explained the rules. i am...someone in the game. everyone is writing things down in runes, which i can't read, and saying things i almost, but don't quite, understand. i do something. a quiet ripple of murmured surprise goes around the table. apparently, i've just done something Unexpected, but Good. there's a tiny break in the action while people decide what to do about that. o. comes over and suggests that next time i make a move to attack the wizard sitting next to me - he's powerful, too powerful, and i should have a good chance at stripping him of this power because of such and such (where 'such and such' is something i don't quite catch or understand). oh, right, that.
i decide to take a break myself and head for the bathroom. naturally, i can't get in. in fact, there are so many people there that someone new is in the bathroom every time i return to check on its status. so unfair. everyone sleeps or plays throughout the night. i eventually sleep somewhere. when i wake up, everyone is gone - even o. - and i'm all excited because it means that i'll not only get to pee, but ALSO i'll be able to take a shower. oh bliss.
i walk into the bathroom, but get distracted again by the ice buildup i can see out the window (the bathroom also has a view of the beach down below). it's mesmerizing. then i hear someone coming in. i start the shower and hope they'll just ignore me, because i AM, after all, IN THE BATHROOM, TAKING A SHOWER. no such luck. it's this shortish bearded guy. he bangs on the bathroom door until i open it, gives me an appraising look and says that he's there to get his bags. actually, he's come to get his and her bags - his wife left her luggage at the apartment and they were wondering what had happened to it. he's got about 6 bags with him. o. was fussed about these bags before - he couldn't imagine where they'd come from, and no one was claiming them, so we ended up pushing them into a closet so they wouldn't be in the way. i say something to that effect. and he looks me up and down and says, "you know, you're about the same size as my wife." god. what's IN those bags? he raises an eyebrow and smiles lasciviously. i roll my eyes and he laughs and backs out the door.
o. appears and announces that it's time to go to the convention. there's no time to shower or pee or anything, because we have to pack up the bathroom and bring it with us. yes, that's right, the bathroom is coming along. o. can't do without it. it is the BEST bathroom. ok. it turns out he means the shower stall only. which has wheels under its base. we attach a rope to it and lead it off into the convention, which is being held in a shopping mall. it follows us obediently. we arrive at the designated store front and park the shower stall. o. disappears into the throng. it's the same group that met at his place and people wave and shout greetings and point out humorous runes they've written on the walls (which i still can't read). i think, ok, now's my time, my moment, i can take a shower! but as i approach the shower, i can see from the shadowy person-shaped outline against the curtain that someone is already en-shower. dammit. i resolve to find a bathroom somewhere else and wrap myself in the purple kimono my grandmother made for my grandfather. the mall awaits.
people are busy doing things inside the various stores, so there aren't a lot of folks walking between events yet. i spy a guy sitting on a plant stand. he's tall, but folded up awkwardly on the edge of the planter. his long dark hair covers most of his face, hiding his eyes, but not his mouth which is either contemplative or sad. he's also wearing a kimono, but his is navy and red. same design/pattern as mine, though. he looks up at me as i walk over and we mutually admire one another's kimonos. his aunt made his. we share a brief, giggly, isn't this exciting how our kimonos brought us together moment, but we don't know enough about kimonos to know whether or not the pattern we share is popular (thus negating our initial kismet). after talking quietly and a bit awkwardly in that way of people who have just met but who have sensed a common bond of like, we walk around together and look at the other people and events. he's got a katana, too, which he unsheathes and brandishes from time to time.
we turn down a food court, which has been transformed into a kind of food market/bazaar and as we pass the restrooms, i remember about the peeing. we bow and part, and i have my hand on the door before i notice that the sign says i need to be wearing shoes. how did i forget my shoes? oh yeah. i left in a huff and a hurry because i was annoyed about o.'s shower being occupied. i didn't bother with my shoes. i push on the door experimentally and it swings inward. i get a brief, inviting glimpse of clean white tile. okaaay. it looks clean enough. but what if some mall security clone comes by and throws me out just when i'm getting comfortable? fuck. i let the door swing closed. i square my shoulders and do an aboutface. i'll get my damned shoes.
naturally there's a sea of people to wade through, now. as i'm mere store fronts away from the place i need to be, a guy with what appears to be a giant rope-y bow causes a huge scene. we're all on either the second or third level of the mall, but it's open through the center, so that one can look up or down and see all of the levels. the ropey-bow guy is standing on the railing above such an opening. he leans back and swings his bow around us. everyone screams and drops to the floor. he laughs maniacally. then we see that it isn't a bow after all - it's wings, woven rope wings. he jumps into the opening, wings now attached to his torso, and they begin to flap. they're long enough so that they catch in the opening. he appears to be airborne, but really he's just wedged. the woman next to me is marveling at this miracle of flight and i do the equivalent of the monty python stage whisper, "it's only a model." she looks at me coldly and says, "you're RUINING it, juuitsu." and i'm taken aback. she knew my NAME. ack. how? AND she pronounced it correctly. and also? i didn't realize she was...playing along. she didn't seem to be playing along...she just seemed woefully ignorant. guess i will keep that to myself. the crowd thins as the spectacularity of the spectacle wears off and i continue my quest for shoes.
SUMMER READING IS OVER!
officially!
i'll miss having my teen volunteers around all the time, but i will NOT miss the crazy busy-ness that has been this summer. hopefully, in the future, other people in my department will try to scale their programming back to things that THEY can handle, and we won't have a repeat of events that inadvertently rise up and eat the time and resources of practically every other person in our organization. because that's not nice, and it creates a lot of...TENSION. and not of the good anticipatory kind. k. i think that's all i will say about that.
i got to hang out with the face painter (and do a little face painting, myself) yesterday, and had a bunch of my volunteers with me. one of them was telling me about this graphics program he's using to make a giant mobile hand, and i was asking him all kinds of questions about the program and how you save the files, and after we both blah-blah-blahed about animated GIFs, the face painter turned to us and said, "you know, i have NO idea what you guys are talking about. and i HATE that." oh oh. then she wanted to know if we were ALL volunteers. when she found out i was one of the librarians and got my age she utterly refused to believe it. she decided that i'm to be officially booted out of my 30s, which, i guess is kind of gratifying. :) we all practiced so much painting on one another that every patch of visible skin was covered. i came home and took a bath. know what? acrylic paint just peels right off you when it's wet. pretty cool.
there's so much stuff to clean up when i get back in on monday. argh. i'm so glad we are done with this silly theme - it was not my favorite. next summer? dragons, magic, castles, medieval. much better! we'd better not call it "Joust Read," tho. my off-the-boot suggestion was "drag-on yourself into the library for a good book." which i don't like either, but i use to illustrate my point that the possibilities are ENDLESS (for lame SRP titles).
lest you come to think i'm all bitchy all the time... (because some days it seems that way to me) i had a really good friday. after i picked up my new mosquito bites (sorry, couldn't resist) on my morning walk, my folks drove up and collected me to go to lake geneva for the day. they got here kinda late morningish, so the first order of business was to decide on LUNCH. we ended up driving through town and since traffic was bad, we noticed that there was a houlihan's (where one had never been before!), and decided to try that. there's one at old orchard i've eaten at before and it was decent, but dark. this one was all windows and views - quite a different kind of atmosphere - and it was a huge improvement on the popeye's place that i used to love going to (their food has really deteriorated in quality, but they're charging more for it). it was very tasty. bom had the perfect pot roast (i will definitely get that next time), and the side caesar salads were also yummy.
we continued on to the lake house and spent the next couple hours doing yard work. i unloaded all of the apple tree logs bom brought up there (i'm not really sure why it was important to move them from illinois to wisconsin, but whatever), and then mowed. dad and mom moved some furniture around and then cleaned the bathroom. i talked bom into coming swimming with me after that. i'd brought my inflatable kayak and was eager to get that inflated and seaworthy (lakeworthy?). yeah. it took all three of us to figure out how the damn paddle goes together. three sections and three people and maybe 15 minutes later we had a functional paddle. guess i should label the pieces for next time, huh? :) bom and i inflated the boat (i may have had a pump for it at some point, but it wasn't in the box, so we ended up a little blue in the face), and then i gave her the first go. wow. it was almost like her first horseback riding experience. fortunately, she didn't fall off the other side of the kayak, though. she got in in the little kid swimming area, and i launched the kayak out into the open water, whereupon she screamed that she didn't want to GO, and started paddling like mad. except that she didn't know how to paddle so she just kept getting farther away. so i swam after her, caught the end of the paddle, and reeled her back in. dad was very amused on the shore. my turn. i took it out and around some boats. now, bom was running along the pier, calling out to me that i was awfully far out, and wasn't it time for me to come back? dad, still amused, on the shore. got mom in the boat another time and held onto it while she tried to paddle. didn't let her go anywhere (mostly because i didn't want to have to rescue her by swimming out into the seaweed). packed up our kit about an hour later and went back up to the house.
we stopped at the farm stand on the way home and i got some corn (which i had for breakfast this morning!), and also some pumpkin cake (yum!). and dad was hankering for a turtle sundae from culver's, so we stopped there, too. they left me at home a little after 6pm, and i managed to stay awake until 9. jeez. and since i don't feel like i really...did enough to tire myself out THAT much, i'm going with the body snatcher theory.
there's a chill in the air and it won't stop raining, raining on all the days i am free to bike. so if i want the biking i'll have to be wet and cold (and i find i don't want it *that* much). i've been hibernating the last few days. going to bed so very early. maybe i've been body snatched? someone else is running my bod around while my mind is off doing other things. i'd look into it if i weren't so distractable. so, sleep, sleep is cutting into my activity. and bad bad dreams. last night i had three. all different. which is somewhat better than the same dream that just won't go away.
in one, i was driving somewhere with my mother. we were behind a slow truck that we couldn't get around (not a semi, but some kind of lighter work truck). the driver was not in a hurry. we were following him up a steep ramp and we only had, oh, maybe a couple blocks to go to get to our destination, but the road turned into some kind of hot wheels track and suddenly flipped nearly upside down. i was screaming for the guy to speed up, because we'd never stay on that road going as slow as we were. you need FORCES to make you cling. he didn't pay attention. he and his truck went crashing into flames beneath us. and i flew out of my body, out of the car, out of the inevitable, and watched helplessly as my mother plummeted down the same track. i heard/saw the car hit the ground below. i saw her arms flapping inside then outside through the window, as if flapping could help her escape. it was awful.
i guess that is what 12 hours of sleep gets me. AWFUL.
i only remember snatches of the other two. one took place in some kind of parking garage that was attached to a mall. i was with my whole family this time. not sure exactly what happened and where it went wrong. in another, i was with oberon watching really disturbing stuff that he'd filmed while he was on vacation. very horrific. and it kept freaking me out, making me wonder if i knew him at all. i couldn't sit still, so i went out to sit on my back porch, which was very different from how it normally is. it was all enclosed and there was moss growing up between the wooden floor boards. it was cold out there, too, and i was wearing some kind of floor length wrap-around sweater thing. there were candles and lanterns providing a low light, and some people from work were there, too. not talking to me, just sort of lurking quietly in the corners, like we all needed some private quiet time, but had nowhere to go where we'd really be alone.
bleh.
i have more bug bites than i care to count. from just walking around town. that just pisses me off. i wore layers the other day - even though it was too warm for that much clothing - just so i would be protected from the damn mosquitoes. yeah. so now i have a mosquito bite on my ear. it's the worst. it's all red and puffy and hot and irritating. and i keep scratching it. even in my sleep. and you know why there are so many damn mosquitoes? because it won't quit raining. and they won't quit breeding. so. i'm going to have to go walk on a freakin' treadmill at the gym, because i can't get any satisfaction.
dreams
i am patrolling the stacks and i run into a tall blonde guy who's with his 10 year old son. the blonde guy is huge, with a crewcut, and looks like he probably plays football, or rugby, or something violent, really well. his muscles ripple and he casts an annoyed look back at his son, who is sulking slightly behind him. then he asks me, "what do i do if he damaged a book?" i ask him if he has the book and he says, no, but he knows where it is. we all go on a field trip to find the book. the kid comes up to me so quietly i don't even notice him until he's right next to me (dad strides off ahead of us). he says, "i didn't do it." i tell him it'll be ok, even if he did do it. dad is waiting for us with the book in hand. he gives it over to me and grumps some more at his son, who continues to protest that he *didn't* do it.
the mylar covering the dust jacked is all bunched and torn on the spine of the book. it's not terribly damaged, but we'll have to re-cover it. i assure the man that we can fix it and take it over to the reference desk where webguy is (for some reason) stationed as if he is reference staff (he's not, but he *does* have an answer for everything...maybe that's why he's there?). he keeps not paying attention to what i'm saying, which is starting to piss me off. the kid suddenly appears again and announces to all of us that he "didn't do it." "didn't do what?" is webguy's response - so i finally have a chance to explain about the book and get him to check it out to the repairs person. i'm still irritated with him, though. it took all of 5 seconds to check it out, and he's kept me waiting to talk to him for at least 5 minutes.
the kid is fascinated by the computer and he pushes webguy out of the way ('hey! what are you doing, kid?'), and rapidly keys in some kind of program. it only takes him about 20 seconds to type it in - webguy stops trying to get him away from the terminal (i assume that he can understand enough of whatever programming language the kid is using to see that it's not harmful) and the kid finishes up. we all stand back and watch fanciful ascii animals cavort merrily on the screen. the kid has a huge grin on his face when he looks up at me. i'm smiling back at him. he opens his mouth to say something else, and i say, "i know, you didn't do it."
***
i have to pee. (again)
it's a mad dash across campus to get to the student center where the ladies' restroom can accommodate quite a number of ladies, and i am so looking forward to a nice, clean, spacious, fully-stocked stall of my very...crap. the line's out the door. this never happens. we seem to be moving quickly, though, and soon everyone is inside the bathroom, but milling around and not paying attention to the proper protocols of bathroom lines at all. my teeth and fists are clenched as yet another woman pushes in front of me into a stall. the person behind me is so close she feels like part of my spine - the part i need to have surgically removed so i can pee. bitch.
the woman in front of me turns around to say something and someone else dives in front of her. we both curse. finally, we're pressed up against the door of a stall - no one can get past us. i hold the door closed for her and she gives me a curt, but determined nod. we are going to pee, and no one is going to prevent that. she finishes and i quickly slip into the stall - elbowing another woman in the face and throwing yet ANOTHER one out into the restroom. this stall is mine. i have stuff with me, but nowhere to put it. if i hang it on the door, someone's sure to mess with it. so i'm trying to hold the strap of my bag between my teeth, pull my pants down and pee (all without dropping anything into the toilet that shouldn't go there). in the process i notice someone trying to crawl under the door. i beat her with my bag and she retreats, screaming epithets. i sit down. people keep looking over the stall door in at me and saying, "i hate you." it's intimidating. i realize i can't pee with all of this attention i'm receiving. i realize i have more then pee to accomplish here. it's never going to happen. people start shaking the door. i pull up my pants in furious resignation and balance my stuff on the hook that's attached to the door. someone immediately reaches over and takes it.
that is when i have had ENOUGH.
i come out of the stall with a bang. wench is reading my journal, and someone else is going through my bag. i punch wench in the face and she screams (but drops my journal). i take my bag back from someone else, who's standing there looking stunned. i reach into my bag and pull out a Really Big Gun. i try to decide whether it would be more effective to shoot AT specific people or if it would be better to just fire a few rounds in the air and let the place clear out. i figure if i start shooting, everyone will leave. then, i can get back into my stall, finish up my business, and hopefully be gone by the time the cops show up. if not, oh well, i am way past caring.
i look at wench. she's only brought this on herself. i shoot her first. she explodes. it's fantastic. women start screaming and running. they trip over their own strollers in their rush to get out. people are trampled. i fire some more shots into the air and the panic escalates. i decide to follow them out of the restroom. they run. they slip in wench's blood. my madcap grin fades when i see the tall angular figure in the hallway. he's tying balloons. he watches the exodus of women and grins at me. then, he raises a hand and beckons me closer. shit. i shoot at the retreating women one last time and drop my gun. i take up a fighting stance. i have no idea what one. i am not good at street fighting. the man's smile increases about 100 watts. his teeth, his eyes, his personality all gleam at me. this would be completely hot if i had any chance of surviving. but no, he's totally going to kick my ass.
i wake up.
my coworker comes running up to me and says, "i've been meaning to ask you...I've got this problem - someone's foreclosing on my intellectual property. what do i do?"
may i point you to our legal section, smartass?
why is it that whenever i open one of those individual portion yogurts it spurts with great ebullience all over me? hm. i smell and taste vaguely of cherries.
(for j9)
grandma: you know, i had a lamb once...it used to follow me home from school. it's mother wouldn't feed it, so we ended up raising it ourselves. we kept it in the house and our mother bottle fed it. one time, we came home and the lamb was standing up on top of the chifferobe! now, how did it get up there? we couldn't figure it out.
oh, but when that lamb grew up, it was mean. it would try and butt us. it chased us out to this rock pile we had out in the field, marooned us there. we couldn't get down until someone else came and led him away. they grow up and get nasty like that.
me: *sings* ragnhild had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb.
grandma: *laughs*
i love how it says "snowfall alerts" underneath the little weather thingie on yahoo's weather page. yeah. like THAT'S a danger right now.
my pocket is ringing. this happens so rarely it surprises me every time.
"let's go to arizona," he says.
"yes." not ok, not maybe, not let's wait. let's go.
i catch a snatch of the song that's playing, "you live your life like it's the last day..."
what other way is there to live?
***
i step out of the shower and stare into my own eyes. my eyelashes are sticking to my face. they're wet. too heavy.
we have the same eyes, you and i, but you were blessed with a profusion of eyelash. the loveliest i've seen. i wonder how you will be when i go. probably fine. probably. probably that should make me happy.
***
he drives my car. we've got the windows up and the AC cranked. i'm reading the last Harry Potter out loud to keep him awake. we LOVE Harry Potter. particularly me. my devotion is such that i'm willing to suffer the inevitable motion sickness that will result from this reading. oh switch places with me soon. i want to find out what happens. i don't want to barf on your shoes.
i think today's the day that we can pick up any leftover pottery (from the class i was taking earlier this summer). unfortunately, we can only come in the middle of the day between Very Specific Hours (i guess they think that none of us are gainfully employed?? this *is* a continuing ed. course. stoopid), so unless monkeybaby goes and gets it...yeah, oh well. i'm not even sure anymore what i've got left. i do have two purple bowls in my car that i should remember to bring in. the glaze just turned out amazing on those. you know, usually by the time i get to the glazing, i've already been done with the piece in my head for quite some time. and then i have to hope that whatever i put on it doesn't make it look like ass. because that's so easy to do. *grin*
i brought some of my stuff home for bom to do with as she will. she's finally been trained (through the many pottery classes i've taken over the years) to actually use the functional stuff instead of just displaying it (although, there's a fair amount that she's displaying, too). our hawaii guest was looking through it and chose a delicate round bowl (it looks very rice-bowl-y). it was so thin that it wobbled and warped a bit when i took it off the wheel. it probably would have kept its shape better if i'd thrown it on a bat, but i decided not to bother with that for this class. if i don't get to take ceramics there again (next semester is scheduled for weds. nights and that's my reference desk night), i'll have to find another outlet. they've talked tentatively about offering a monday class - but only if there are at least 10 of us who want one (and i think the weds. class might have to be full, too). so i'm not exactly holding my breath, but i am hoping.
so here are some of the things that i made this summer:
and here's a closeup of one of the mugs:
i got a tattoo! well, a henna tattoo. the lady who did it said that it would last anywhere from 1-3 weeks, and mine seems to have chosen 1. it's barely distinguishable now. i got a picture of it last week before it went into serious fade mode. here's what it *looked* like:
there was much oohing and ahhing over it at work - my sleeve was just short enough that the bottoms of the flowers were poking out. :)
the last time i got hennaed was in kenya, so 10 years ago (wow, that's a long time). that lasted longer - they used more henna, put it on more thickly, and it was on my hands...i'm not sure exactly why i think this is important. *shrug* it shows up pretty orange-y on me, though on other people it can be a deep brown color. wish it had stuck around a little longer. i'm not keen on getting a permanent tattoo (because i like to change things), but i'd definitely get one of these again.
and, today, for the first time in many years (excluding my childhood, when i regularly pretended i was a unicorn or a horse or a French hair-dresser named pierre), i played a role-playing game - tho, technically, it was more of a storytelling kind of game... but, who am i kidding? this is not my area of expertise. ;)
oberon got a new version of Shock! that he wanted to try out before he goes away to that big gaming convention thingie next week, so he invited tylure and i to play it with him. it was fun, but complicated. i was tired before we started and felt...totally sapped of ideas, which occasionally happens when i'm put on the spot. they run away. are they afraid? i don't know. stupid brain. it requires a lot of creativity. here's how it works:
each of the players comes up with an issue - a modern day concern that you're actually invested in, say poverty, or pollution. we came up with: overpopulation, environment, access to information, and marital fidelity. then, everyone picks a shock - which is some kind of event or thing that's true of this universe you're creating. ours were: longevity, a slave race, and genetic engineering. these things are plotted on a grid - like so:
S H O C K S
gen. eng. longevity slave race
I
environ O/J
S
S acc. to info. T/O J/T
U
S mar. fidel.
E
S overpop.
O = oberon
J = juuitsu
T = tylure
after you've got this all laid out, you pick an intersection where you create a protagonist (character), with certain attributes and relationships, who has to exist in this world. then, you have to come up with a goal for their storyline - what do you want them to achieve? the person to your left is the antagonist to your protagonist, and they do everything they can to keep you from achieving your goals. o. kept trying to antagonize me (probably because it's like breathing for him) even though tylure was my actual antagonist.
there are a number of details that players work out along the way - these can be ideas that they have about how the shocks play out. we had a bunch (and i probably won't be able to remember all of them, which is ok, because not all of these things would become important in our stories). we decided that people could live for 1000 years, exactly - no more, no less, but they continued to age during that time (since the lifespan had increased, the normal development time had changed accordingly - childhood, adulthood, geezerhood - all were centuries long now, instead of what we're accustomed to in a *normal* human lifespan). there was a drug called "Kronos" that allowed users to fast forward - these long-lived people were often apathetic and bored and could find no delight in the seemingly endless years ahead of them. there was a huge organization known as the IPO - the intellectual purity office - which regularly tested people for genetic and intellectual impurities using standardized measures. the IPO would then reassign into slavery any defective individuals.
and then the storytelling begins! the stories can be unrelated or players might find relationships as they're telling them. it kinda gets worked out as you go. i'm going to leave the exact mechanics out (at least for now, because it's late and i want to go to bed) and just tell the stories.
meet Jeffrey (never Jeff, but sometimes Jefé), the privileged son of a wealthy family - he and his father are on the board of directors of a large shipping company, and his mother comes from old money. Jeffrey is disaffected - life holds no enchantment for him - so he spends much of his time hopped up on Kronos and avoiding his fiancé. he's having an affair with one of his slaves. his drug dealer's name is Tiny. oberon's goal for Jeffrey was to shame and destroy his family.
meet Janis, a highly educated nanny to a wealthy family - Jeffrey's family, in fact. she's a member of the underground (secret, hush-hush) intellectual freedom association (alliance might be a better name for this). my goal for Janis was to free intelligent life from intellectual persecution.
meet Dr. Felicity, a biologist specializing in fungus. she's conducting important research on longevity. tylure's goal for her is that she discover something that slows the aging process of humans.
Jeffrey's sitting out on his holo porch one afternoon - the screens depict acres of cotton, with nary a soul around. he's wearing a starched white suit, obviously tailored, obviously expensive, which doesn't seem to be at all affected by the wilting heat. he's sipping lemonade laced with something stronger and trying to come down from his most recent Kronos high. Jeffrey's fiancé is out there with him trying to get him to spend more quality time with her - namely, by giving up the Kronos. he's able to convince her that he's not currently taking any, but he resolves to give it up anyway, as it has serious side-effects (kills brain cells, eventually making one unfit for genteel, uppercrust society).
Janis is in the nursery/classroom teaching Jeffrey's younger siblings, Cheryl and Frederick (7 and 10, respectively), when the family receives a registered letter from the IPO. Cheryl's test scores are borderline questionable, and she's to retake them. this calls into question Janis' teaching methods and material, and Agnes, Jeffrey's mother, privately meets with Janis to express her concerns. although Agnes trusts Janis, she's to be on probation while Cheryl undergoes further testing. Janis is both relieved - to retain her position - and frightened - that the IPO will discover what she's been teaching. the IFA, it turns out, has been teaching subversive material to privileged children through its agents, and these children generally pass the IPO's tests. Janis must have a old version of these materials.
Dr. Felicity is sequestered in her lab, having just received a shipment of new fungal species to be cataloged and described. she doesn't notice that one of the specimens has been contaminated (by a terrorist group, no less, one that isn't interested in having humanity descend gracefully into geezerhood). she's placing it in a container when she accidentally cuts herself and gets infected by something unbeknownst to her.
having decided to quit his Kronos habit, Jeffrey breaks the news to his dealer, Tiny. Tiny, upon hearing Jeffrey's going straight, breaks both of Jeffrey's legs. J. ends up in a wheelchair. (ah, sweet confinement!)
Janis meets secretly with the district supervisor in the IFA to discuss the snafu with Cheryl's test scores. but there's a plant, and the IPO is able to confirm existence of the IFA and begins identifying key members and leaders. the IPO does not immediately act on this information. Janis' supervisor, however, is displeased with her performance and tells her she's unreliable and that the organization can't trust her. Janis is disappointed in the IFA, but remains determined to do something for the intellectually deprived - even if it means she has to fly solo.
Dr. Felicity makes an amazing discovery, but before she can jot down the results - let alone savor them - her boss makes an appearance, shuts down her equipment and tells her she's been transferred. they've lost their funding and no more work is going to be done with her fungi. Dr. Felicity is temporarily thwarted, but vows to use her own time to continue her research.
Jeffrey and his father, George, attend a board meeting and other board members express concern over his recent activities - namely the ones that landed him a wheelchair. he was found, broken and unconscious, in a terrible neighborhood. this isn't exactly the kind of figurehead they wanted for their company and they want to remove both father AND son from the public eye. Jeffrey throws himself upon their mercy and comes clean about the Kronos addiction. when he's offered a speaking engagement to address the dangers of Kronos abuse, the board relents, feeling that this sort of character reformation will give them some good publicity.
the headquarters of the IFA are completely infiltrated and overrun by the IPO. the IPO arrests and brainwashes the leaders of the IFA; its lesser agents are savagely gunned down. Janis escapes this persecution by remaining in the relative safety of the home of her employers. she's seen wrapping up her lessons in the slave quarters. after a final battery of tests, she's ready to go public with her own research proving that slaves can learn, can be just as intelligent as other human beings. Janis is able to disseminate her findings with Agnes' help. Agnes has been sympathetic to the plight of slaves these many years, and she's only too happy to take the steps that begin their emancipation. she uses her money and her influence to help Janis in her endeavors.
Dr. Felicity is working hard in her makeshift kitchen lab. she's brought everything she needs into her home so that she can continue working - secretly - on her research. she's also seriously ill. the mysterious infection is clogging her lungs, blurring her vision. she's wearing a sterile face mask, stained with her own blood. she's able to repeat the experiment that led to her initial excitement in the lab, but the same terrorist group breaks in and confiscates everything - even the good Dr. herself. they whisk her and her fungi away to one of their safe houses where they can examine what she's done. there, they discover that her findings about longevity can be implemented to curtail the extended lifespan of humanity. they administer an antidote to the infection and put the Dr. to work for their team.
Jeffrey has been on a anti-Kronos speaking circuit - along with his trusty personal slave. he decides to risk everything and publicly out their relationship to the world. this announcement completely destroys his family. the embarrassment, combined with the slave uprising and emancipation, also destroys the family business. Agnes has her own fortune to fall back upon, but she has no desire to help George. he's been a liability, as far as she's concerned, for some time now. Jeffrey comes out strongly in support of his lover, and joins the reformed IFA (now organized by and for former slaves working for themselves) along with Janis and Agnes. his lover, free now to do as she pleases, becomes a great scientist in her own right and carries on the important work of Dr. Felicity.
the end. or possibly sequels. :)
***
and now it is VERY late and time to be VERY quiet and VERY still and VERY asleep.
the fair was fair. it rained on us a bit, but since i mostly wanted to see the animals, and they were all in covered barn-type areas, it wasn't so bad. the main barns are marked: SHEEP, SWINE, and BEEF. i don't know why the sheep and swine get to avoid being labeled "dinner" or "meat," when the cattle have no such luck.
in the first hour or so that we were there, oberon and i learned more about sheep than either one of us thought possible. o. was pointing out how different the sheep were in profile - some had roman/aquiline noses, others were more blunt, some were large breeds, some were small. we hadn't seen any information about the different breeds, so we stopped and accosted a little girl of maybe 10 or 11 who was hoisting a sheep that must have weighed as much as she did (she claimed it was mostly fluff - it was VERY woolly). after talking to us for awhile, she told us we should go check out the sheep in the showing area, where other members of her family (presumably) were walking them on leads as they bleated plaintively (MAAAAAA! sheep totally stick out their tongues when they vocalize - it's hysterical!). her father, seated next to us, proceeded to tell us all sorts of things about sheep. the two most interesting facts i came away with are 1.) sheep always give birth to twins. wow. are the twins always different genders? i wonder. and 2.) when lambs are spooked, they will sometimes jump on top of their mothers and ride on top of them. they call this "sheep surfing." i so want to see sheep do this.
i thought about, but did not tell, my grandmother's lamb story. ok. i mentioned that she'd been stuck up on a rock pile because a mean ram threatened to attack her every time she tried to get down. i did *not* use the words "marooned" OR "chifferobe." would you like to hear the lamb story? :) it's the one my grandma told us over and over and over again when her memory was failing. you could expect to hear the lamb story at least a couple times a day. sometimes she'd realize that she'd already told us and stop in the middle saying, "oh, but you've heard this already." but, most often, she'd retell it - in almost the same words every single time - shaking her head and wondering aloud at that crazy lamb. we joke now that we all know this lamb story so much better than any of our own stories, and when we start losing our minds/memories, that's going to be the only thing that sticks around - someone else's damn lamb story. can't even own my own senility. dammit. (and i'm pretty sure i've already told the lamb story here...although, i can't quite remember when...shit. it's happening already.)
pigs are plump. not fat, so much as fully packed. they're round and taut and have callused upper snouts and soft inquisitive lower snouts. and they're very very very interested in you. i like the curly tails and the snuffling noses and the soft grunts they made as they investigated my hands for any food. o. was sure i'd lose a finger by the end of the night.
talked to a few cows in the "beef" barn. they have BIG expressive eyes, and moist noses.
aaaaand, then we found the show bunnies and i completely lost my mind and squealed. a lot. it was profoundly degrading. but some of them were just these irresistible dandelion puffs of bunnies - tiny and adorable (with nasty big pointy teeth). even o. was mesmerized by the power of bun. "i kinda want a bunny," he said. the bunnies nodded knowingly - they had only just begun the exercise of their terrible might. i did not add any bunnies to my bunny family.
i asked about, but never found, the guinea pigs. i know i read that there was supposed to have been a showing of guinea pigs as well as rabbits. perhaps they were masquerading as the fancy pigeons at the end of the rabbit hall? no idea. i'm a little bummed that we missed them (assuming there were a them to miss), but my "squee-flex" was totally exhausted by the bunnies, so it's just as well.
we sampled something called a "pineapple whip" which was a cross between sorbet and soft serve ice cream - pineapple flavored. it was pretty good. i did have to be talked into it. i was sort of hoping for a big bowl of vanilla ice cream with raspberry sauce over it. no one seemed to be selling anything like that, though.
we found the library table after wandering in and out of every building at the fair, and stopped to say hi to the library folk (o., i should probably have introduced you...sorry. i know you'd met one before, but you probably didn't remember him - my bad). they'd been there since 4 that afternoon and it was nearly 10 when we wandered by. they were set up right next to a book publisher's table, which had a number of strange children's board books that all started out with "That's not my..." and, fill in the blank. not my truck, not my bunny, not my mermaid, not my pirate. and there were all of these tactile or visual experiences that proved that whatever it was was NOT mine because of X. like, that's not my pirate - her shirt is too silky. no one seemed to be concerned (except oberon) that in order to test the silkiness of said shirt, one had to run one's finger up and down the pirate's chest. um. huh. they also used this word - bobbly - a whole lot. what does that even MEAN? these were also translated into Spanish...i wonder what the Spanish word for "bobbly" is... i'm sure the book publisher lady is right now planning their new adult line of "that's not my..." books. the first one will be the runaway bestseller, "that's not my prostitute."
right. and then? it was definitely time to leave the fair.
i have the worst, worst headache. well. ok, it would be worster than worst if it were a migraine (which it isn't), but it's still bad. possible causes:
1.) not enough sleep
2.) going in and out rapidly between super-chilled and super-heated environs
3.) the enormous turtle sundae i just consumed
4.) creative brain wrangling all afternoon
not enough to choose from? ok. how about this? 5.) dropped on my head and folded over several times like a wet noodle. only i am NOT a wet noodle and i do not really fold well. ouch. and ouch.
or,
6.) the yoga i did this morning in an attempt to alleviate #s 1 and 5
voting commences...NOW!
it's been a bad week for the container garden. it was hot and miserable and the plants got a bit wilt-y, and then...well, if things continue like this, i certainly won't have to worry about what to do come winter. the neighbor's sweet kittyface has eaten about half of them, and slept in the ones that he hasn't yet eaten. i'm...equal parts amused and annoyed. stupid kitty nature is after all kitty nature. and, i guess i should thank sweet kittyface for pruning back my rubber plant - i was thinking of doing it myself, and he's saved me both time and effort. granted, the rubber plant may not survive further kittyface administrations. kittyface seems alive and well despite having ingested several pounds of plant matter. i wish his owner would feed him kitty FOOD. or, i dunno, keep him off my porch? eh.
*giggle* i'm looking at the mchenry county fair info site right now. they have a rabbit AND a guinea pig show. i'm sorta tempted to go check it out tomorrow...especially since there's also a library table and i can harass the people who signed up to work it. until 10pm tomorrow. i don't really think they'll drum up a lot of business, but whatever. i can check out the animals, torment the librarians, and get ice cream! woo! (i'm assuming there will be ice cream, cuz what's a county fair without ice cream?) oh! and i'm giggling because you can enter your older male guinea pig in the guinea pig show as a "SENIOR BOAR." *snort*
my rabbits aren't exactly what you'd call "show quality."
i think regularly about changing careers. except that i feel like i just changed them and maybe i need to chill out for a bit longer. :) actually, the warrior-princess-veterinarian-author-philosopher-artist thing is sounding pretty good again. i think one can do that if they design their own major. i'm not sure what kind of degree you walk away with, or how long such an interdisciplinary program might take. as long as i get some kind of tuition waiver and living stipend, i think i'd be pretty happy.
"So, have you developed your own philosophy?"
no. i mean, yes. i mean, there are some meisms that i live by and that i think about from time to time, but i have in no way formulated them or written them down or gotten them chiseled out to the point where i can present them to anyone and say, "here is what i think - the tao of me, if you will." these are things that more or less leak out of me when i think of them. if people stick around long enough to get to know me a little, they can probably pinpoint when this happens.